Anyway, last week, we were at a local restaurant and we saw her dance teacher. I asked Bug if she had gone over to say "HI" to her, and she said she hadn't. I encouraged her to go after we were finished eating. Now, Bug went to the same dance school, and was in the same class of girls, for 4 years. It's been about 8 months since she's gone there. Her teacher had no idea who she was. Not only that, but she TOLD Bug that she didn't recognize her. I had no idea that happened - Bug told me that she told her "hi", but that was it. Then a few days later, Bug was talking about how she was glad that she didn't go to dance anymore, and when I asked her why, she told me that story, as well as one from when she missed a week, and the teacher never even knew she was gone. Mind you, there were only 12 girls in that class.
You know, that really makes me mad. Thousands of dollars were spent (not by me, thank goodness) to send Bug to this dance school. She wasn't a star or anything, but she tried hard, and she did whatever they asked her to do. It absolutely breaks my heart that this girl's memories from dance include the fact that her teacher doesn't even remember her.
Maybe it's because I have spent much of my life being "invisible". Most of the people I went to school with have no idea who I am. I ran into someone a couple of years ago that I had been "friends" with, and she had no recollection of me. It makes me a little sad, to think that no one remembers my name. I mean, I can see not recognizing me because I do look different than when I was in school. But when my name comes up and they still don't know me? Oh well. Maybe I'm just too sensitive.
The whole point I am going to eventually get to is that when a child approaches you, and calls you by name, the least one could do as an adult is JUST FAKE LIKE YOU KNOW THEM! It wouldn't have taken but a moment for her teacher to say, "Hi Honey, how are you?" Then Bug would have felt good, and the teacher wouldn't have been stuck trying to match a name with a face.
Now that I'm thinking about dance....it brings me to another thing - the other dance parents. Never in my life have I seen such a "clique-y" group of people. Two summers ago, Bug's dance team was invited to Myrtle Beach for a National competition. Pretty big deal, right? So for months prior to the competition, I worked different fundraisers to ensure that Bug could go. We couldn't afford to stay in the same hotel with the other girls, but our hotel was only about a 3 minute walk from theirs. I gave the other moms my cell phone number so that Bug could be included if all the other girls were getting together for something. I even called a few of the other moms while we were there to try to arrange something. NOT ONE PARENT CALLED ME BACK. Not because the other girls didn't do stuff together, they just didn't call. Now, frankly, I was annoyed by it, but whatever. Bug, on the other hand, got a serious first taste of being left out. I think that was the beginning of the end of Bug's enjoyment of dance. (We did have a good time, anyway, spending some mommy-daughter time together) Here's a great picture of Bug next to a statue of the world's tallest man (Robert Wadlow).
Again, maybe I'm just too sensitive. But it really ticks me off when someone does something that hurts my kids.
Wow, I didn't expect to write all that!! Sorry for being so long-winded in this post!
One last thing - Ande just called and asked how I felt about him giving his "two-weeks notice" at the homeless shelter he works at on the weekend. I'm thrilled, because I miss having him here on the weekend (it's been almost a year), and we'll be able to go to church together again. I don't think we'll feel a huge difference financially, either, because even if he only works 8 hours of overtime in a week (just over an hour a day for 5 days), he'll make up for the lost income from the shelter. Doing this will also give him more time to work on his amps for the New York Amp Show in May. He wants to get 5 or so amps built to take with him. Pretty hard to do when you work 60+ hours a week!
He's still debating it a little, but I am pretty sure he'll give his notice today.
3 comments:
Its amazing how rude people can be and how consumed within themselves. Thats quite a few years Bug danced with the same girls and the same teacher. Maybe she was mad because you discontinued dance, still you don't treat a kid like that either. I guess you can call that a real teachable moment. I know what you mean about getting angry when someone wrongs your child. When I took Colson to a Christian pre-school in the area they, too, were extremely clicquie! The only friendly individuals were the two teachers. What a shame. Now two separate family friends have their children enrolled there and they are experiencing the same coolness. What a shame. I guess you have to attend their church, be members before you are treated kindly. How very sad.
There seems to be alot of prayer needs going around these days. Lots of hurting families, either financially, physically, or other ways. Some days its just overwhelming the pain that people are experiencing. Thanks for taking the time to ask and to update!
I appreciate your openness and your honesty. Its refreshing!
First of all, thanks for prayers updates. I appreciate you keeping us posted!
Next, ugh.
My kids are still a little young to be aware of being slighted...but I am sure not looking forward to it. It does seem like so many of the hurts our kids experience are because of adults...which is a lot harder than sticks and stones. Thank goodness for wisdom from God.
And finally, that sounds like an awesome change for Ande. You'll have to let us know if he does it.
Continued prayers for your family (and the others that you've pointed out!!)
Julie,
That's great news about Ande. I am thankful that you will have your weekends back with him! :-)
As for the sitation with Bug, that is really sad. I was shaking my head the whole time I was reading that, thinking, "What is that teacher thinking?" I mean, truly, the only adult that would do that would be one that, I think, does not at ALL understand a child....and you would hope that a dance teacher of children WOULDN'T be an adult like that! But, it just goes to show you how cruel kids and adults can be for no reason.
I am thinking of home schooling my boys, and this EXACTLY is one of the reasons. I know that you can't shelter children forever, and I realize this wasn't necessarily a school activity, but things like this happen on a daily basis at schools (and worse--see your very LAST post, duh, right?) and I could at least protect that from some of this stuff, at least until they are a little older and able to handle it better. I know what you mean....when it comes to my kids....watch out. I think all the mothers reading this would say the same thing, and would have felt very similarly to how you did!
Devin in Illinois
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